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Created at Big Huge Lab
Photo of Anaelle matted at Big Huge Lab
Three things I love glommed together: poetry, colors, and a quilt.
I love the cosiness, the clutter of books, the colors, and the sense of history implied in this photo.
image from flickr color pickr
We were in a park near the apartment of my son and his family.
I am holding my granddaughter Elise next to an Etruscan statue
Musings of a sixty-ish woman
poster246510.jpg
Created at Big Huge Lab
Thing #10
Photo of Anaelle matted at Big Huge Lab
About Me
Though I have had my share of blows and buffets, I feel I have led an enchanted life. I have rejoiced in glorious friendships, the intensity of motherhood and grandmotherhood, and now a wonderful companion to share adventures and a beautiful house with.
I grew up in a small town in western Oklahoma, small enough that we never locked our door or took the car keys inside the house. I rode around on my bicycle stopping in parks or a wonderful quiet place called "the agricultural station" where I would daydream under pine trees and imagine myself inside a fairy tale.
Or I played with my dolls and paper dolls in my room, involving them in scenarios fed by my relentless passion for the technicolor extravaganzas I saw at our local movie theater. Living in a building with a doorman in New York City and attending cocktail parties seemed to me then to be the height of sophistication.
Movies actually changed three times a week in that innocent time before television, and I saw nearly everything from the late forties into the fifties and sixties--with my family, and later with friends. Our parents would "drop us off" at the theater, as it was perfectly safe for children to go alone. It cost ten cents for a child under twelve to see a movie.
I also loved cowboys as my brothers and I went to see westerns every Saturday morning. When we were little we had run around the yard shooting pistols at each other and taking turns playing the comic character Gabby Hayes as we could not think of enough heroic cowboys. When I had two sons of my own, I felt completely at home watching them run around making explosion noises with their mouths and crashing toy planes into the floor.
I loved reading too, of course, as I grew up to be an English teacher--Little Women was my favorite novel--and I read it again and again. Later in life, I began to see the thread of characters and stories weaving itself through my whole life down to the stories I buy for, and read to, my grandchildren, and the ones I love discussing with my AP students in high school.
Thing #5 Emily Dickinson in a quilt
Three things I love glommed together: poetry, colors, and a quilt.
Random favorites
- Art museums
- Tea and macaroons at La Duree in Paris
- English novels set between the two world wars
- Fred Astaire's dancing and Ginger Rogers' dresses
- Creating a serene and nurturing environment in my house and in my classroom
- I am currently passionate about Murakami novels--reading Kafka on the Shore
- Names of flowers--gloxinia, hydrangea, phlox, peony, heliotrope, bougainvillea, frangipani ....
- Great musicals--just saw The Drowsy Chaperone
- Fairy tales and names of fairy tales: Rapunzel, East of the Sun and West of the Moon, The Juniper Tree, The Three Feathers...
- Lavender: the scent, the herb, the flower... and, oh yes, the color
- Divine Nonsense, see the next favorite:
- Oscar Wilde, and the next:
- Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
- Wearing hats
- Teaching my classes--AP English, Shakespeare, and Film Studies
- Breakfast cappucinos
- D.H. Lawrence
- Reading anywhere
- Diane Johnson novels
- Studying French
- Playing with and reading to my grandchildren
- John Keats' odes
- Spending time and taking trips with my boon companion and beau, Hu
- Daydreaming about my childhood...daydreaming period
- Crocheting scarves and baby blankets for my family
- Cooking for my family
- Playing with interesting color combinations
- William Butler Yeats, especially "Among School Children" and "A Prayer for my Daughter"
- Tom Jones and Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding
- Jean Cocteau's magical film La Belle et La Bete
Shakespeare and Company
I love the cosiness, the clutter of books, the colors, and the sense of history implied in this photo.
color play
image from flickr color pickr
I am glad you visited my blog. Please write me about your own musings on any topic.
I am an AP English teacher at Memorial High School in Houston, TX. I experience the best of all possible worlds as I get to spend my work days reveling in literature and writing, and enjoying my students who all have so many different talents and personalities.
I enjoy exploring interesting restaurants and movies with my companion, Hu. We also love to take trips to see children and grandchildren and to see some parts of the US and Europe that we love to explore. We are going to take a river cruise down the Rhine this summer and then to to Paris to visit my younger son and his family.
I am fortunate to have two wonderful sons with wives and children whom I adore, as well as five precious children and seven grandchildren of my companion, Hu. I enjoy the love of several very close friends and keep in touch with many of my former students.
I enjoy exploring interesting restaurants and movies with my companion, Hu. We also love to take trips to see children and grandchildren and to see some parts of the US and Europe that we love to explore. We are going to take a river cruise down the Rhine this summer and then to to Paris to visit my younger son and his family.
I am fortunate to have two wonderful sons with wives and children whom I adore, as well as five precious children and seven grandchildren of my companion, Hu. I enjoy the love of several very close friends and keep in touch with many of my former students.
Wearing a hat in Paris with my granddaughter, Anaëlle
We were in a park near the apartment of my son and his family.
Museum of Modern Art Fort Worth
I am holding my granddaughter Elise next to an Etruscan statue
63 comments:
I thought first semester junior year would be intimidating, fearful, and stressful. It was intimidating at first and of course stressful at times but overall the semester wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.
In English particularly, my writing improved by at least thirty percent. Looking back at previous papers I wrote, I realized how much I lacked sophistication. I had supporting details and interesting word choices however, my sentence structure did not vary for they were all short and simple. Since then I observed that now my sentences contain variety and my papers flow much better for they are more appetizing.
My goals for the next semester are to improve during the in class writings. I want to focus especially on shortening drown out sentences by using more complex vocabulary instead of simple words added to make a long and unnecessary clause. I also want to organize my ideas in better paragraph formations.
Kat Schindler
3rd period
After receiving my first essay in English III, the first thought that crossed my mind was, "Oh my goodness." I was stunned with the grade, of course, and found myself working furiously, striving to achieve better. Though there is always room for improvements, I believe I have improved considerably not only in writing but also in thinking critically.
I believe I most improved in making clear and concise sentences that are straight to the point. Sometimes, an awkwardly-worded sentence would make the paragraph stray from my intended meaning or confuse the reader. I have also found myself using more specific details to support my points instead of general statements, which, I have learned, are waste of words when it comes to creating a strong arguement.
As second semester (as well as a new year!) starts, I want to take this opportunity to take time and set a goal for improving my writing. Although making more concise statements, using more specific details are something I know I have to constantly try to improve, I want to focus on creating a distinct voice during second semester. I want to find this voice not only when writing a personal narrative but also when writing an arguement or even a critical analysis.
Dong-Hyun Kong
Period 5
Throughout the first semester i feel like i have improved my analysis in my essay's to better support the claim. At the beginning of 1st semester my essay's consisted of a summary of the prompt which did not have any specific details to support my thesis. I found it very hard to connect with the prompt and to find details that are less obvious then what is stated.
By the end of the 1st semester my grades were improving on all my essay's. I believe this is from my improvement in analyzing the prompt. I now take more time to read over the prompt which helps me completely understand what it is about. When i am writing my essay's I always follow all of my claims with specific details from the prompt followed by my analysis of what is trying to be conveyed. This makes my essay's stronger with more of my input about the prompt and less summary of the prompt.
During this semester i want to work on developing my claim and linking it to all my paragraphs without side-tracking to irrelevant information.
Katie Russell
6th period
In my first essays I was understanding the main point of the selected passage given to us, but my paper's always showed up with a big fat "more specific detail" in the header. After I a couple of these essays I have grown to accept the fact that the more details you have, the better the essay will be. Now i throw around quotes and paraphrases like it's nobody's business.
Unfortunately, the large amount of details I use from the passage have detracted from my explanations on a couple of my essays. I now know that details without effective and informative explanations are useless. However, towards the end of the semester I believe that I have discovered the balance between specific details and commentary.
My goal for this semester is to eliminate all of the "fluff" from my papers. When I reread some of my papers now I realize all of the meaningless words i throw around for no reason. You know there is something wrong when every sentence has a wordy dependent clause like my research paper. I think now I have the tools to eliminate the meaningless sentences and words.
Robbie Perry
Period 1
As you already know you did not have me as a student last semester. At the beginning of the year, I was shocked after receiving my first grade on a timed essay. English has never been my best subject, but that grade was flat out embarrassing.
As I began to become accustomed to timed essays, I started to feel more comfortable with my writing style. Before, my ideas had just touched on main ideas, but lacked depth and meaning. Now I have learned to look deeper and add more commentary and details from the passage without rambling. Overall, my thesis statements also began to develop into more complex sentences without sounding so juvenile.
My main goal this semester is to work more quickly and efficiently during timed essays. Also, I would like to work on my sentence variation as well as conveying my own ideas rather than the authors. I also need to learn to be less wordy.
Elisabeth Braly
Period 6
This year helped me learn a lot about my writing style. Through our many assignments, I have come to realize my strengths and weaknesses. I understand that I am a stronger creative writer, and this tends to render me in an analytical assignment. I always am inclined to be overly descriptive, also known as "fluff" and "deadwood." You've drawn this to my attention. Although it is still a struggle, I have improved. I also have improved on my ability to use specific details. This upcoming semester I plan on completely grasping and digesting the prompt. I am sure this upcoming semester will help me improve all of my weaknesses.
Merritt Shivitz,1
At the beginning of AP English last semester, I struggled with both in-class essays and essays written at home. Most of my papers consisted of fluff and I did not directly state my claim. Also, I felt limited to writing in a set layout for essays. This hurt me because I was not able to think outside the structure of the layout. However, over last semester I learned to be more direct with my essays, use specific detail after specific detail and not stick to a set structure. Over the course of last year my essays improved by a letter and a half. This semester I hope to improve my writing further and use different writing strategies. I hope to write essays with more specific details and improve the grammatical structure of my sentences. I look forward to this semester and developing my writing.
Christine Thorne-Thomsen
Period 1
I learned an immense amount this semester, especially on how to improve my writing. My first essay on the Scarlet Letter passage had a lot of room for improvement, to say the least. My claim was a low level list of things I was going to explore and I was missing many significant details; however, as I continued to write more in-class essays, my writing style improved. I found that the essays I wrote at home received acceptable grades while my initial essays I wrote in class were lacking in depth and did not acquire good grades. After relaxing while writing my essays, my writing improved.
After looking through all of my essays, I found that my voice is evident in my later essays and the sentences all flow together well. The thing I most improved in was using many specific details to support my claim, contrary to my first essays I wrote. I also have areas of improvement. I often have "fluff" in my writing and I need to work on getting to the point and tightening up my writing style. I am looking forward to this semester!
Kylee Piatczyc
Period 3
Since the beginning of the year, I have had trouble writing essays for English. Even to this day it is still difficult for me to produce a really good essay. Although I still need to work on my writing I can definitely tell that I have improved. My claims are more concrete and I do not list what I am going to talk about. This allows me more freedom to discuss many more topics in my essay. I have started to eliminate fluff and extra words and sentences that do not add to my essays. I am still working on adding more detail which is the most difficult thing for me to think of when writing. The grammar exercise we did in class helped give me new ideas of how to reorganize sentences to eliminate fluff or fix mistakes. Hopefully this semester with many more essays I can improve my writing and along with it my grades.
Kristin Holcomb
Period 1
At the beginning of the semester last year I was just flat out scared of this class. English has never been a strong point of mine , which would have been a downer if I persued a career in journalism like I hope to do. All through my sophomore year I stressed out any time I had a paper to write or a story for Yearbook. I was never satisfied with any of my papers. At the beginning of the this year after the first timed writing I thought I had done okay and was content with the grade I recieved. Continuing throughout the year I focused on finding my voice. I knew that once I had it I would do so much better. Thank goodness I found it halfway through! Last semester would have been so much more stressful otherwise.
This Semester I am focusing on strengthening my voice more and working on my mechanical erros. Spelling and grammar will hopefully not be the death of me this year!
At the beginning of the first semester, I received relatively high grades on most of my essays. Unfortunately, I feel that towards the end of the semester I did not do as well as I am capable of. The two recurring problems for me were the "fluff" that I had in my writing and also the lack of specific details. I would use two or three sentences to explain an idea that easily could have been one sentence. I did not realize exactly how much fluff I used while writing until you finally pointed it out to me and I was able to go back to my essays from last year and learn from my mistakes. Earlier in the year, too, I felt that I had to cover all my bases and talk about many ideas in my essays. This led to a lack of specific details which I am still working on.
Hopefully in the upcoming months I will be able to rid myself of these two problems and have a good spring semester.
Michael C.
Period 3
Based on everything I had heard regarding the difficulty and time consuming nature of junior English, I was pleasantly suprised to discover that it was NOT that bad. I truly enjoyed working in a comfortable classroom setting (compared to the rigidity of some of my other classes), and the countless discussions we had as a class over certian controversial events.
My grades were roughly the same throughout the year, excluding the first essay, but I feel that my writing has improved tremendously since the end of August. Certainly eliminating unneccesary words and phrases from my writing has made a difference, but I believe the greatest change in my writing is the material I choose to discuss. Prior to this class, I used to only write about the obvious points, and write generic essays from common perspectives; now, because I enjoy writing more, I choose more original views and arguements, and because I care more about defending these points, my writing has improved. For exmaple, when I wrote an essay on Hard Times, I compared the novel to a greek tradgedy, a much more difficult task than say, just writing about Dickens' views on the Victorian Social System. Basically, because of the somewhat laid back classroom atmosphere, I feel more comfortable writing about topics that aren't as mainstream, which is the one reason why I enjoy the class as much as I do.
As for my goal for this semester, I really just want to choose interesting topics to write about and have a good time. Everything else will probably just fall into place.
Robert Sauermann, 6th Period
My initial anxiety of AP English (timed writings = butterflies in my stomach!) was quelled as the first semester progressed; I felt that practice somewhat melted into near (yet far!) "perfect". But I discovered that my writing greatly improved as I focused on specifics to back up my claim rather than beating around the bush with unneeded words.
One of my priorities this semester lies in developing voice. I really need to focus on developing this in order to add some zest to my style.
On another note -- for a long time, I valued reading more than writing, but I can now say that this past semester has momentously changed my thoughts on this. In fact, I think that reading and writing pretty much hold the same value on my preference scale. But then again, reading and writing go hand in hand, so why not?
Lastly, I want to express my enthusiasm for the coming semester because I know for a fact that I will grow even more as a writer and critical thinker as I did in the past five months.
Anu, Pd. 6
When I decided I was going to do dual credit English this year I thought I would be a giant step up from sophomore year. Surprisingly it turned out to be not very bad. However, after getting those first few grades and your feedback, I realized my writing had a lot of room for improvement. I have always felt comfortable writing essays especially when you are free to write about whatever you would like, but when it comes to writing formal essays I always tried to follow a general format. Last semester I learned that following a format is not necessary as long as you get your point across. This was another thing I tended to struggle with because most of the comments on mt papers said "too much verbage". Hopefully this semester I will be able to improve on this and become a more sophisticated writer.
My main goal is just to incorporate more of my own voice but not overdo it. I would also like to improve on being able to state my claim right at the start and not slowly develop it throughout my paper.
Rachel Bett
Period 5
Coming into junior year, I had the expectations that it would test my skill level, work ethic, and time managment. However, my experience has exceeded my expectations. Not only did AP DC English challenge me, but it also opened my eyes to the dynamic world of literature. Over time, my writing matured with each new assignment, leading me to see gradual improvments.
Our classroom discussions helped me focus on areas of weakness that I may not have been able to see on my own. Strong voice is something that I have always heard but never really understood until this year. By infusing an essay with voice, I found the over all quality to improve as well as the grade!
Specific details, specific details, specific details. From the first day of school up until the last day of school, I know that I will continue to hear this. Without specific details, an essay has no evidence or information to back it up. Specific details is what makes a sturdy paper, and once I discovered this writing got just a little bit easier. I am very happy with my improvments, and I only look forward to this semester!
Taylor Goodwine, period 3
From the first day of junior year, I knew English III would be a challenge. English has always been my best subject, but first semester you taught me to think outside the box and actually say sommething in my essays instead of using advanced vocabulary and "fluff". Although I enjoy writing, at first the in-class essays intimidated and frustrated me. I was not making the good grades that had come so effortlessly to me in previous years. But, after writing two or three, I began to view the in-class essays as ways to better my writing.
By the end of first semseter, I learned that general statements give the reader no information. Although you always say "Specific Detail! Specific Detail! Specific Detail!", I am just now starting to understand just how specific I need to be. Another one of my weaknesses is wording sentences to where they make no sense. Along with confusing the reader, I confuse myself and often stray away from my original claim.
This semester, my goals are to use as many specific details as I can, eliminate all "fluff", combine wordy sentences to where they are short, to the point, and make sense, and to start every assignment the day it is assigned so I allow plenty of time for improvement. I am looking forward to this semester and hopefully I will reach all of my goals!
The first paper we wrote in English class this year was a big surprise to me in my academic career at Memorial. I never had realized how in depth a passage can be analyzed. Throughout the semester I showed some evident strengths and weaknesses throughout my papers. Some weaknesses I portrayed in our series of first semester writings were very evident at first. I constantly used utility words throughout my papers. Also I realized I always need to provide more insight and understanding of the authors' works. The lack of insight throughout my papers often led to a lacking grade. Some of the strengths I portrayed this semester throughout my papers were a sound structure and a use of quotes and good descriptive details. By inserting relative details from the passsages provided I was able to back up the claims that I had made throughout my papers. Integrating these quotes into sentences was also another strength of mine. A goal I have for the next semester is to provide as much insight as possible in my papers as I can without making the paper too wordy. In order to do this I need to read and analyze the passage at a higher level of thinking. Another goal of mine is to learn how to write on the spot instead of having to prepare a paper. Instead I would like to learn how to write a superb paper in only one class period.
William Pipkin Period 1
At the beginning of last semester, I was very intimidated by the in class writings, so I just threw down all of my thoughts onto the paper in hopes it would develop into an essay. This method proved unsuccessful because I rambled on and on about something that had nothing to do with my previously stated thesis. This unorganized rambling in my essays added extra fluff that is not necessary and makes my paper more confusing and repetitive. Also, I was not putting much thought into my sentences and word choice, so I was using very simple words and sentences.
This semester, I hope to improve in all my writings, but mostly my in class timed writings because this is where I struggle the most. I will put more thought into each of my sentences to help eliminate fluff. Also, I will try to plan out my essays by writing a few more notes on my paper to help guide my essay and hopefully make it more organized.
Angie Betancourt
Period 6
At the start of the year I did not understand how to do in-class writings. I had wordy sentences and random thoughts in my papers. I had poor word choice and did not put enought details into my papers.
I have improved on my in-class writings and decreased my use of "fluff" but it is something I am still working on. I have gotten better at understanding the things we are writing about and analiyzing papers. Im need to work more on using specific detials in all my writings. This year has helped me improve on my sentence structures, and wordy sentences.
I still need to improve on tightening my sentences, supporting my claim better and using detials.
English is by far my most difficult class. I have always had problems understanding and recognizing different stragies and techniques. But this enlgish class has really pushed me to persist and understand what I am doing. In the beginning I was attached to the five paragraph format with a topic sentence listing what i was going to write. I have learned to have fun with it and change up my introductions, that helped me change the entire paper. I was a master of fluff, especially on in-class essays where I felt i needed to fill the page no matter what. Our continuing essays in class and our disscusion help me develop my paper through fluid thought with minimal extra wording. Now when there is room on the paper I just continue to dig deeper with more evidence and straight forward commentary. I still need to work on spelling and word choice, but this new way of vocabulary is helping. It allows us to learn words on our own terms without set quizes where all you need to do is memorize the definition for a mere ten minutes. Overall I think the atmosphere of the class is what has helped me the most. The way we discuss and learn by looking back at past mistakes is way more effective than using a textbook and worksheets. I know that my writing has improved, but I know it still needs work and this is the class that can really help me.
Link
pd.1
Looking back on my English papers and essays from first semester, I realize that I am strong in writing personal essays but weak in my formal essays and research papers.
I started out this year, including plenty of "fluff" and general statements in my papers, beading around the bush of what my main idea was. I now know that this a big no no, and I should be direct in what I have to say.
Many times I feel like I have so much to say in my head, but I can't find an elegant way to put in on paper. Next semester I want to push myself more to just stating what I think. I also want to inject my essays with a strong voice like I had in my personal narrative.
I also need to include more details in my writing and stay away from simple generalizations.
Michelle Wainwright
Period 1
At the beggining of first semester my essays contained good analysis, but they were too wordy, and not properly planned. My main focus last semester was figuring out how to properly word my thoughts so that my points were concise, yet still deep. The hardest part was attempting to convey my analysis in the proper wording, without rambling on too much, and still getting everything I wanted into the paper with our time constraints. My best paper was the research paper, because I had a lot of time to think and gather information before I actually had to start writing. If I had just written my research paper the day I examined all of my sources, I probably would have missed some things that I realized later on. With that being said, I still think my research paper would have been a lot better if instead of editing the parts that I thought were weak(the conclusion), I would have completely rewrote it, keeping maybe my strongest sentence. If I could completely change one paper that I wrote, it would probably be the one about the Galapagos Islands. It took me longer than usual to decide what my main points were going to be, and because of that I battled with the time to even finish my essay. Because I was struggling with time constraints, I couldn't make my ideas sound as eloquent as I usually attempt to, and I never really got to think for long enough to delve as deep as I would have liked. My main goal for this semester is to become better at handling timed situations, so that I can fully analyze the paper, and properly word my essay without having to worry about getting everything in my paper. If I make as much improvement this semester as I did last, then this will hands down be the most beneficial writing experience I have ever had.
Ryan Charnov
Period 1
Like many others who enrolled in English 3 APDC I believed that the course would more of reaffirm the various teachings that our past teachers have instilled in our writing. I was soon shocked to see that the writings which had previously gotten me high A's were being questioned due to my wordiness and lack of compact sentences. MY goal for next semester is to use my new found knowledge to write with sentences in which every word adds to my point. As well as using more specific details and continue to find my own voice. Now and in the future i hope to keep writing with emotion and let it show throughout my papers.
Sable Pd. 3
In my first couple essays in AP English III i could understand what the passage or book was about but i was thinking on the surface. It was difficult keeping a way from the five paragraph structure that I had been taught in previous years. Nevertheless I discovered not to fill my papers with fluff and to instead just skip straight to the point. I also learned how to produce a stronger claim Probably the most difficult thing for me first semester was to think critically. At the end of first semester I raised my grade up a letter and felt a lot better about my writing. I improved in adding a lot more specific details and eliminating fluff.
My goals for second semester is to eliminate the fluff in my essays,to produce a stronger sense of vioce and finally to use stronger and not as broad claims when I write.
Johnny Schwarz
Period 1
When I first joined your class and started producing work I did not know how I was going to survive it! My grades started low and it appeared that they were not getting any better. Know that the first semester has come and gone I feel much more confident about my writing When looking over previous essays I noticed that I drifted off subject too much and I dragged sentences on with boring words instead of being concise. I feel that now I have better word choices that help make my writing more interesting and I know how to stay on topic without drifting away. My goals for next semester are to use passive voice less and inprove my sentence structure.
Blake Plaster
6th period
My main problem first semester was knowing what I wanted to say, but having a hard time clearly expressing it without being wordy. I think that I improved on using vivid and specific verbs to convey my exact meaning, and combining sentences to eliminate meaningless words. I also think that I improved my organizational strategy, and instead of mapping out my papers with a restricting list of points in the introduction I make a claim and then back it up with specific details and thoughtful commentary.
My goal for next semester is to elevate the level of my writing by “tightening” it. Looking back on some of my first semester papers, I realize that I could have condensed parts of it to make the over all paper more effective. This class has really pushed me to write better than I ever have before and hopefully I will continue to steadily improve!
Allie Nemeth
period 1
The beginning of this year we wrote an in class essay about the scarlet letter. The one I wrote then would be remarkably better if I were to write it now. I feel that although I made a clear claim, I did not follow my claim throughout the essay. I used an immense amount of padded words and sentences that could have been cut. I believe the most important aspects of writing that I have learned over the past semester were specific details, specific details, and specific details! My in class essays have improved and at home I have tried to make sure each sentence contributes to the essay adding new information opposed to the miscellaneous fluff I was writing before. Throughout my analysis of a critical argument, you repeatedly commented to be specific! After rereading that essay, I can see how I was too vague and needed to incorporate not only details but also my own critical thoughts. I plan to work more efficiently during the in class essays and create an A paper for the upcoming classical argument. I also look forward to another semester of learning and improving!
Gina Brown
Period 5
During this first semester in English I feel that my writing has improved drastically. Looking back at my papers from the very first week of school, and comparing them with my more recent papers I have seen a change in my writing strategies. At the beginning of the year my papers were vague and included too much plot summary. Now I am doing a better job of leaving out the plot and focusing on the more specific details. Another one of my improvements occurred when I eliminated listing what I was going to talk about in the paper. The reader should be able to determine what I am writing about by reading the paper I shouldn’t have to tell them.
Over the semester I believe that I improved my voice in papers. I learned that I need to write from the heart because it is evident in papers when I don’t. I have made many improvements over the semester, but there are still a few things that I need to work on. I need to work on my sentence structure, and I need to make my paper tighter and easier to read. I have trouble getting sentences to flow and I think that can be improved by slowing down and rethinking the sentence before I write it. The extra fluff in my papers has decreased, but I still need to work on eliminating the fluff. My papers are often vague because I don’t define what I am talking about so by defining things I think my papers will improve and become clearer. Finally the most important thing is that I need to find better specific details and support them in a solid way.
My goal for this semester is to tighten up my papers, make them more solid, and have fun with writing. I have really enjoyed looking back at my papers to see the changes in my writing, and I can’t wait to see what improvements I will make during this semester!
Entering my junior year of high school, I was most apprehensive about entering English III AP. In class essays have never been strength of mine and the first couple were quite intimidating. For the most part, I achieved some fairly high grades that satisfied me but I still lacked confidence. I realized that I need to rely on my self-assurance and let my mind collaborate instead of wasting time worrying about the perfect sentence.
Most of my first essays included claims pertaining to the themes of the novel. What I have learned is not to just read for plot, but rather concentrate on how the author develops his/her style. I now give more thought to literary elements as I construct my analysis.
I have also learned that simple is better. I tend to be wordy in order to get a point across in as many ways as I can. After I spend a whole paragraph unnecessarily elaborating on an obvious statement I have most definitely wasted a good fifteen minutes.
Since out of class essays can be revised with not much restriction on time, they are graded on a much harder level. Throughout the semester I have learned the importance of drafting and editing. I realize that there will always be a lot of room for improvement in my writing skills and I look forward to such accomplishments during my second semester.
Linnie Roy Period 5
At the beginning of the year, I was reeling from a devastating barrage of low grades in your class. At the time I felt indignant, for the previous year I did well in English 2. As the rounds kept thudding on my wall, I forced myself to sit down and understand why I was losing the great battle for success.
The battle plan I needed to adopt soon became apparent, for I realized that my main problem in writing these essays is that I do not include enough specific details. Other potential wounds include my habit of not condensing my sentences and of using unnecessary words. However I have improved in adding more specific details, and my use of fluff has ever been a small wound, for at the outset I have tried to condense my sentences, though I have improved in identifying unneeded parts of sentences. No, my most prominent problem right now is the unfortunate affliction of being unable to write quickly. In our class's last, essay, I was able to include many specific details in the analysis of Darwin's impression of the Galapagos Islands, but I ran out of time before I could satisfactorily analyze Melville's description of the Enchanted Isles. I believe that the sheer amount of essays we have had to write has contributed to my improvement as a writer, so in order to increase my writing speed, I obviously need to write more.
-Ishan Talukdar
After receiving a surprisingly low grade on my first in-class essay, I realized that many of the writing techniques I had previously learned would not stand me in good stead in this college-level English class. In my essay on Hawthorne’s characterization of Judge Pyncheon, I listed items in my introduction, used vague or cliché words, and referred to “the reader”.
Since then, I have gleaned valuable advice from class discussions, blog posts, and especially the article “How to Say Nothing in 500 Words”. Now, I use more details and fewer “banned words”. I have found that it is much easier to be specific when I am interested in my topic. With each writing assignment, I look for a fresh insight to which I can personally relate.
By far the most important thing that I have learned this year is to always “use ‘I’ ”, and I hope to continue developing my voice during the second semester. I also need to learn to trust my own analysis and opinions – not rely too heavily on critics’ opinions or censor myself. In addition, I want to be able to capably examine both sides of an issue, especially on the upcoming classical argument.
Amy Rasplicka
Pd. 1
At the beginning of the first semester I entered English class with out the slightest idea of how to write a proper critical essay and struggled to write papers without using a five paragraph model. Also when I either did not understand what the prompt was asking or felt like I needed to fill up space, I often resorted to summarizing the plot of the short story or book. As I found out early in the year all of these methods are frowned upon in the English Department and therefore my grade suffered from it.
I decided that the best way to succeed in this class was to utilize the new methods of writing that were being taught, and to my utter disbelief, my grades started to get better. I learned to cut out the “fluff” in my writing and to concentrate on specific details to strengthen my papers. I also learned to combine sentences and avoid using “to the reader” in my writings.
For this semester I will concentrate on improving my writing style by combining sentences and omitting ones that don’t actually say anything. I will strive to improve on my in class timed writings by looking at the prompt on a more critical level and citing specific details to strengthen my claim.
Jimmy Britven
P.5
I was blown away when I got my first essay back; a D can be shocking when you're expecting a B or an A. Over the course of the year, however, this class has taught me to use specific detail (I lost count of how many times you stressed this), to analyze what the prompt is really asking, and to put more of my own voice into the paper. Personal tone has enriched a number of my essays. However, there are still things that I need to work on this semester; I need to use more specific detail and find ways to make my essays less wordy and filled with more detail. If I do these things, I'm sure my writing with improve even more.
Oh and that was Ben Kirchhofer, Period 6
I meant pd. 3, not pd. 1!
Amy Rasplicka
Over my first semester I have been able create more concrete sentences and develope and express my ideas more accurately. I have begun to eliminate my "fluff" and focus on specific details.
This second semester I want to be able to find subjects that I will enjoy writing about and further develop my "stance-creating" ability
Matt Brown
3rd Period
CAROLINE PURCELL
PERIOD 3
For me, junior year was a complete different english class than sophomore and freshman year. It went from easy outlined ways to write papers to a more broad spectrum. We were able to use any personality or specific ways of writing, but we still had to stay within the sharp lines of the prompt. After receiving the first paper back I was shocked to receive a C, while I usually had received A's or B's. I was confused as to why I was making these poor grades after a few more papers. I decided maybe I should stop being stubborn and actually try to listen to the new tips and ways of writing. I thought everything I had learned was right, and it was, but it is not going to cut it for the AP writings.
I learned to cut out all the extra wording, and just say what you need to say. As John Mayer puts it! This was so hard for me, because I always think that "extra wording" adds more "sophistication" and always hoping that it might make me look more intelligent, but really it does the opposite. It makes me look like I can't find just the right word to express exactly what I am thinking or trying to say. Also, I learned to not do the 'list the things I will walk about, then paragraph-by-paragraph go into detail for those few things I mentioned in my "thesis" ' This was a new way to me, which I actually felt a bit scared of (only because I felt like I wouldn't know which way to go). Once I got used to it, I was able to actually add more personality. It gave me wiggle room, and more room to add personality which I needed! One last thing- I learned that you must always use SPECIFIC details. And I have been trying to do that every since it was en-grained into my brain by Dr. Williams ;)
For this semester, I will mainly try to work on gathering all my ideas together and having an organized plan before writing, because I always seem to throw a million ideas together adding unnecessary sentences/ words/ and a confusing essay.
CAROLINE PURCELL
PERIOD 3
After one semester in your class I can honestly say that my writing has drastically improved. The first grade that I ever got in your class was way less than perfect, but through examining the stylistic errors that I kept making I have been able to improve my writing approach. I also appreciated the essays that you suggested to us like How to Say Nothing in Five Hundred Words. These essays gave me examples of how to use less "fluff" in my writing. Today we examined past essays that we had written and you had commented on our errors. I not only appreciated the suggestions to improve my writing, but I also liked examining other things that were wrong with other peoples papers. I think that my writing will be greatly improved throughout the next semester and I hope that everything you have taught me will help me get above a 6 on the AP.
Jeb Burleson
period 6
The first few weeks of English III my writing was full of filler and fluff. My style had me placing useless words and phrases into my sentences, which caused my papers to be less enjoyable to read. I also used a lot of short choppy sentences, which interupted the flow of my writing. However as the semester progressed I was able to eliminate fluff from my writing, and tighten up my writing style. I began to be able to find specific details and back them up with commentary with much more ease, and my grades improved.
This next semester I am hoping to add the "spark" factor to my papers that the 'A' papers have. I will also look to improve on my commentary, which will make my paper "spark" and hopefully result in better grades on my in class writings.
Brandon Chandler
1st period
mom: Hey Caleb what are you doing there?
caleb: Oh, I'm just going through some old essays to see what I've improved on and need to improve on.
mom: Really? What exactly have you improved on then?
caleb: Well for the past few years my essays were split up into an intro, three body paragraphs and a conclusion. All of which probably made the teacher foam at the mouth and bang her head on the desk over and over again because every essay was like mine. But first semester I learned to not write the typical D- essay, but that I should write from my creative spirit and just have fun with it.
mom: Well that's just spiffy honey. Well do you still have to write like you did before with the five paragraphs?
caleb: yes I do mother, but I can make my essays much funnier which will wake the teacher up enough so she's not half dead while grading my paper.
mom: well what do you think you need to improve on?
caleb: Well I would certainly like to improve on inserting vocabulary words into my sentences without looking like I did that just for some extra points. Also I would like to read quicker and retain more information from readings so I can make a more indepth analysis of a passage.
mom: By golly- that's just swell
I came into the first semester of junior year very frightened. I had heard so much about the increase of difficulty, especially in English. I am not going to lie, I was some what intimidated by you at first Dr. Williams. I had heard rumors about how your class is the most difficult in the school, with this I was ready for a fun-filled year of English.
For the most part, my first paper was a disaster. I completely missed the point of the passage and pretty much did everything that you told us not to do. In that first week or two, I learned more about writing than I ever had before. My first lesson learned was how to analyze the passage better. After that my papers jumped from a C to a B. Being a straight A student, I was scared to death by the first two C's I received on my papers. Doing so poorly on those essays only motivated me to improve my writing. Around the second six weeks, I learned how to not only analyze the passage more critically, but now how to incorporate specific details into my essays. This is when my grades rose to an A. I cannot believe how much I have improved since that first paper, it is remarkable.
This current semester I will strive to keep up my quality output on essays. I particulary need to work on the style errors I typically made on my past essays. I am capable of inputing good specific details, but sometimes my "presentation" so to say, is lacking. Fixing these style errors is my main goal for this semester so I can have continued success in the class. Although this might be the most difficult class I have this year, it is most definitely the one I have learned the most in and look forward to attending every day.
Blake Seline
Period 1
When first entering English 3 this year I was intimidated by the timed writing we did in the first week. Since then, I have learned many new tecniques for writing. Early on we learned to eliminate the fluff and wordiness; I now take this into consideration when writing anything. With fluff comes pointless sentences, I have learned to avoid these as well. This semester I also learned how to develop a personal voice. This was something that I had always had trouble with. I didn't know if I was sounding too exaggerated or if my voice was boring. Since then I have found a happy medium. When it comes to writing a thesis I now know not to narrow myself down to three things, and not leaving room for expansion...making my paper boring.
In this semester I plan to work on my critical thinking skills, and to improve on my style of writing; because there is always room for growth. I also want to work on getting my ideas to paper in a clear and concise way. I also want my timed writings to improve.
Catherine H
5th Period
Over the entire first semester of Junior year I improved my writing enormously. The first essays and papers I wrote for the class were completely different from the ones I write now, and I feel much more competent in my writing.
I now know that the main ingredient needed to make a paper excellent is a large number of details, and I am finally starting to listen to your advice from one of the first days of school "Specific details! Specific details! Specific details!" It is those details that make a good paper, and what make me a better writer.
Also, I have really improved on using my own voice in my writings. Showing my own personality in my papers was hard for me at first because we had always been taught that there was a specific way to write a paper, and if it wasn't done that way then it wasn't right. But after a semester in your class I have learned that being creative, and trying something your own way can be a good thing. I still haven't mastered exactly what my voice is yet, but I'm getting there. I know that another semester in your class, and I'll be sure to have found a voice that is uniquely my own.
Virginia Giroir, Period 3
It is almost remarkable how much I have learned and how immensely my writing skills improved since last semester. I rose my timed writing grades almost two letter grades; from a C in the beginning of the year to a 89 at the end, and some A's in between.
I have learned that it is important to define what I am going to say in the introductory paragraph, without straight out saying what I am going to write about in my paper. I found that it is extremely important to have a strong, creative, and distinctive voice in my writing in order to be set apart from the other, boring papers. Additionally, I learned how to read passages quickly yet critically and discovered ways to analyze passages thoroughly and efficiently in a short period time. Using that skill, I can more easily determine what I am going to write about in my paper and make a strong assertion in the introductory paragraph. Furthermore, I learned that it is extremely important to have sentences of different lengths and construction; proper grammar is essential.
This next semester, I wish to further improve my critical reading skills. Additionally, I want to use that analysis to define a concise thesis and support that thesis with a series of specific details and insightful commentary. I am extremely excited to see what the second semester has in store for me!
Ellie Houser
Period 1
At the beginning of junior year, my essays were really terrible. I was always too vague and never understood what I was supposed to be writing. I would fill my sentences with "fluff" and talk around my point and opinions.
As the year has progressed, I believe that my writing has significantly improved. As I wrote the previous sentence, I even realized that I need to leave out "I believe," but I decided to leave it in to prove my point. My statements are more precise and thought filled. For the most part, I have not made many grammatical errors and continue to improve.
Ali Toole Period 1
After looking at my previous papers, it is obvious that my writing needed drastic improvements. Throughout the semester I learned to identify a central idea that I wanted to explore and then expand on it. Before, I would aimlessly wander through the essay without a purpose, and I failed to support my assertion with specific examples. Now, I have discovered the art of finding important supporting material and shaping it to fit the thesis I wish to support. Another problem that plagued my writing was a use of short and insignificant sentences which only served as fillers without developing the thesis. I transformed the sentences by making them mellifluous and using descriptive words.
Although my writing has improved tremendously, there are still several things I wish to imbue into my future essays. When writing a paper, I tend to write whatever comes to my mind and fill up several pages worth of mediocre insight on the topic. Instead, I aspire to focus on making each and every sentence an important addition to the paper. The only thing that my paper lacks now is my own voice. In writing, the hardest obstacle for me to overcome is instilling my own ideas and thoughts into the paper. I want my vision to flow off the page and be more meaningful than just another piece of writing. Hopefully, second semester I can achieve this goal.
Ella Stinson
Period 5
I started off the last semester with some pretty bad writing, almost embarrasing even. But as the year has progressed, I have improved and it's starting to show in my grades. Thanks to the wrtiting techniques taught in class, I am always finding ways to improve my writing.
Looking back on my past writings, I noticed that my biggest problem was following the prompt and making my point clear and concise. I also had some grammatical errors as well. Luckily, I have been improving and I know that I can better myself even more so I look forward to even more improvements in future writings!
Mary Mazy P. 3
When i recieved my first graded paper at the beginning of this year, I thought this would be the hardest year of my life. I soon found that my flaws in writing could be fixed with a lot of hard work and practice. My essays were extremely dull and didn't contain enough detail. I seemed to beat around the bush on every topic instead of just concentrating on one assertion and supporting that with specific details. I began to read the passages more closely which allowed me to see what the authors were actually trying to say. I also learned that essays do not necessarily have to have a specific structure as long as the essay supports my claim. After learning this I didn't feel as restricted in my writing.
In the spring semester I hope to improve on my writing even more than I already have. I feel like my papers still lack the punch to get a 5 on the AP. Hopefully I will find this so I can do well on the AP test in May.
Preston Burkett
Period 1
English class this year was a suprising wake up call for me. In the past I have had the so called "easy" teachers and I admit I coasted through english these past years. Coming into junior year I had believed that might writing was satisfactory, nothing special yet not horrible either. I quickly found out that I was wrong through my experiences first semester and I learned that I had a lot to work on. My writing grades have gradually gotten better, as Dr. Williams predicted with many students, and i plan on this trend to hopefully continue into the second semester of my junior year as I keep on improving on my writing skills.
Phillip Curry
Period 6
Throughout last semester, I quickly realized my usual style of writing was not exactly up to par with being a junior in a college level class. With the first essay, the Scarlet Letter analysis, I was shocked by my grade. However, looking back now, I can see the obvious errors; my main problem was the lack of specific details. I've always enjoyed writing and have managed to skate by these past years with well-worded sentences and vocabulary, but have never really put a passion into my writings. I've felt that with each essay we've done, I've learned to find an angle that will interest me, and that will show a passion for the topic in my written voice.
In this upcoming semester, I hope to continue to work on adding more specific details, as well as reducing redundant sentences or paragraphs. My goal is to write A papers, not only to boost my AP writing scores, but as a personal goal for myself as a future writer.
Lierin Pena
Period 3
I always loved English class, yet I seemed to be stuck making low B's and C's. I thought that I would never succeed in this course. However, with extensive practice and careful discussion, I have truly reached my goal of making an A in English for the semester! I cannot describe in words how proud I was of myself when I began to notice my C papers turn into B's and eventually A's. The strategies, tips, and style points that I have learned so far have proved worth while.
One of the most important lessons that I have learned was that through the use of my own voice, I could turn a paper into a charged and lively discussion. I love the feeling of being able to express your own ideas openly and using them to further accentuate the topic at hand. My personal essay and research paper both gave me the chance to use my own voice, and the grade proved it. I have also learned that it is much better to pick a single topic to elaborate on, rather than to spread yourself thin trying to cover too many bases. Another great tip I have learned is to ALWAYS read the criteria sheet, and make sure that your paper has covered all the bases listed.
This semester, my goal is to refine the flow and organization of my paper, allowing me to leave out insignificant details and "fluff" that distract from my main purpose. Another goal is to double check the citations, and not lose valuable points that could make the difference between an A and B paper.
Beau Braddock
period 5
Details, substance, and support. I was very unaware of the grave importance that these three things pose in writing a paper. When entering my junior year my writing contained substantial amounts of unnecessary fluff. I feel safe saying that my grades were reflecting my knowledge. Before this year I had never made below a B on a paper, yet my first grade was a 72. That's when I knew something was missing from my thought process. After many discussions and lessons I realized that your claim had to be supported; supported with details and evidence and most of all the paper must have substance. It still posed a problem for me because timed writings were not the papers that you had much time to think through. But slowly I began to see my grades rise. The frustration originated from my ability to understand the topic but my lack of ability to put my thoughts on paper succesfully. Later in the semester I started to literally writing my thoughts on the paper without the build of words that added nothing to the paper. I ended the year with a 95 and the first A on a paper in the class. This gave me hope for papers in my second semester and only time will tell how they will turn out.
Matt Hortenstine
Period 6
Looking back at my first semester papers, I noticed an apparent increase in my grade as the year progressed. Even if only by a few points, I feel more confident in myself and in my writing. I am starting to use more specific details and I've learned to focus on substancial statements that add to the paper as oppposed to fluff words. My goal for this new year is to sharpen my writing with powerful vobabulary and vivid verbs. Through this class I am beginning to take pride and put substantial thought into my writing. Planning to challenge my self, I will set the bar high for this new year!
As I began this year, I worried that I wouldn't make it though. However, as I entered in, I began to get a hang of it. I don't feel that I am at my best yet, but i believe that I am slowly getting the hang of it.
As I look back at my first paper, I see many mistakes that I can fix now. For one Im missing specific details. I slowly am getting the hang of that with the constant reminders. I see when and where these details are needed for a good paper. Another thing I have noticed was my poorly structured sentances. The wordiness takes away from the final point. The fluff that I have added to the sentances keep the paper from staying on point.
In this coming semester I hope to improve much more on my papers. I Hope to keep working on my added fluff and adding more specific details. In that way I hope to make much better grades on my papers and do well on the AP.
Lexie Brown Per 3
I think one of the biggest problems I had with my writing first semester was the wordiness and use of filler sentences that didn't really mean anything. To fix this I plan on merging simple sentences together and thinking about what I really want to say before I write anything. Using filler sentences contributes to a lack of high-level analysis and in the end makes my paper empty and somewhat pointless. I want to take out that wordiness and replace it with specific examples and analysis grounded by concrete evidence.
Andrew Harris
Period 5
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