I was very hopeful about this year's fall research papers as many students discussed excellent topics with me. However, I am finding as I grade weaker papers than I had thought I would get. Many students are focussing on their critics' ideas at the expense of their own reading of the novel's text. Please look again at the criteria sheet which emphasizes your use of the text itself rather than excessive reliance on critics's ideas.
Remember this problem so that you can correct the problem with next semester's research paper on a twentieth or 21st century novel.
Please post a comment as soon as you get your paper back about the research paper. I want you to mention your strengths as well as your weaknesses on the paper and to comment on your plan for improving on the next research project. I also want you to mention how you are going to go about correcting any citation errors (most of the errors are spacing problems).
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61 comments:
I felt that I couldn't provide other examples for one part of my claim because my analysis focused more about Casaubon and Dorothea than on providing definite examples of the other substantial part of my claim, Ladislaw. I had a lot to say, but then the limit was 1200 words. Basically, my analysis could have been better had I focused on the other part of my claim, too.
However, I was quite strong in my own analysis (developed my own ideas), the citations (finally!), descriptions, and appropriate use of quotes both from the novel and critics.
Next time, I'm going to pay attention to all of my claim, rather than focus on only one part of it.
I really enjoyed writing my research paper because I was engaged in my novel, Middlemarch. The process of writing this paper revealed interesting aspects of the characters as I explored Eliot's feelings of her time and discovered significant connections between characters, their actions, and the rationale for them.
Anu, Pd. 6
I probably should have either concentrated more on explaining the correlation between A Tale of Two Cities and Hard Times or just dropped the idea altogether. This statement wasn't as strong as my other points, but I decided to leave it in my paper because I thought it was interesting. I almost feel like I write better in a timed writing setting when I can just write about the first thing I think about. To improve, I'm considering writing the first draft of my next research paper in one train of thought so I can aviod choppy sentences and bad links between paragraphs.
I think my main weakness was my claim because it greatly restricted me to what I was able to discuss in my paper and didn't allow for very good commentary. Another weakness was my lack on commentary and specific details from the actual novel itself. I screwed up my citations by switching the first and last name of one of my critics and also by not listing my sources in alphabetical order. I also learned again that putting things off until the last minute is definitely not a good idea.
Andrew Harris
Period 5
I think I had a lot of good ideas for my paper but when I tried to put them on paper, it didn't work out as well as I had hoped. My main weakness was my commentary after my quotes. I didn't provide enough insight which reflected in my paper because it doesn't show enough of my own ideas or analysis of the novel.
Rachel Bett
Period 5
In my researtch paper I felt that reading my critics thoughts turned my reading of my novel in a whole different directi on. After first reading the Turn of the Screw I thought it was a mere ghost story about two children and their secret collaboration with ghosts. However, after reading my critics thoughts I looked at the novel in a different way. Their thoughts made me realize the corruption of the governess' mind. I felt I quoted my critics a little too often, but I thought it was neccessary to cite them in order to explain the shift in my opinion rearding the governess and her thoughts
Research is a long and tough process, but it is deffinetly rewarding. My strengths included my writing style and voice. I took what each of the critics were saying and commented and argued showing my opinion of the book and my personality. My weakness would be my use of passive voice. I need to stop being afraid to write "I" in a formal paper. For the next Research paper I will have more experience and hopefully I can use "I" as much as I want to.
Kat Schindler
3rd period
In my paper I put too much focus on my critics. My paper did not have my own analysis of the novel with my own ideas, as stated on the criteria sheet. I tended to group each section of my paper with the three critics I had chosen. This was not a good idea...my paper did not have a clear organizational plan. I also needed to quote more from my novel and unify my critics' views. However, my citations and my writing style were good.
For the research paper next semester, I will try to make a better claim and find better sources that relate to my claim. I will also give my own analysis of the novel and quote from the novel more.
Catherine H, 5th period
I felt like my biggest weakness in writing my research paper on Willa Cather's My Antonia was trying too much to cram all my ideas in to a breif and concise thesis. I was intrigued by Cather's constant display of femine power throughout the novel and as I dove further into the meaning of the novel,I found much more intriguing topics like Cather's American ideals and idea of developing two characters, Jim and Antonia, through contrasts. I loved all these idea and could not disregard any of them to strengthen my arguement. Ny trying to combine all these ideas into one papers, I was not able to clearly make a statement.
Regardless of what kind of paper I am writing next, I want to make sure to take this into account and remember that too much is not always the best.
Dong-Hyun Kong
Period 5
I learned from this paper more about Ahab. I think my strength was my creativity in how I gave my info. A weakness I think I had was I made a mistake in the citation and that I talked about Ahab too much, but that was only because I couldn't find much related to my original topic. Other than that though I liked it.
I felt that my analysis was strong because I used more ideas from my book than I did from my critics, even though I got my idea for my research paper from one of my critics. There were so many examples throughout the book that I could have chosen to incorporate into my paper. I believe that if I had chosen some of the other examples rather than some of the ones that I had in my paper, it would have reinforced my analysis a little more. I had a few citation errors, but other than that, I felt that my paper was strong in expressing my point throughout. It helps if you enjoy the book in which you are reading and have some sort of connection with a character or another aspect in the book. I felt that when I was reading The Awakening.
Mary Katherine Jolly, Period 3
Through writing this essay, I have learned to give more deep analysis' of my writings. This essay gave me a new perspective of what my futre essays should consist of. I learned to stop making generalizations and give more analysis. Also, I learned that I should never turn in a folder that is of poor and trashy quality.
In all honesty I was not satisfied with the end result of my research paper. When I began my paper I believed I had a strong topic but as I continued to write I had trouble finding things to say. I probably should have read "How to Write Nothing in 500 Words" a bit earlier. But with that said I dont think I'm ever going to make the mistake of picking a questionable topic again.
Phillip Curry, Pd.6
After recieving my research paper, I discovered that it was lacking in detail. I could've made a much better claim, and included more specific details from the novel, in addition to that I also noticed my problem of skipping from one topic to the next! I need to stick with the topic, and find better evidence for support. I had some good ideas for my reasearch paper but I did not take them to the AP level that I needed to, I will seek help next time so my writing will improve and allow me to earn a better grade.
Blake p.6
I think my main weakness was the organization of my essay. What I did well was use my own thoughts and examples from the novel, but I lacked a clear organization plan. In the future research project I plan to lay out everything I want to discuss in my essay and make sure that each thought flows from one to the next. Additionally I hope to improve how I link my thoughts and paragraphs together in my essay. I will try on the next essay to create a paper that is clear and direct with good use of language and a strong thesis.
Christine Thorne-Thomsen
Period 1
The process of writing the research paper helped me to take a better look at my novel, and find some key elements to the novel that I did not notice when I first read the novel. But my paper was not a well-written as I hoped it would have been. After re-reading my paper I found the weaknesses in my paper and I will try my best to not make those same mistakes again.
Mary Mazy
P. 3
From writing this research paper I learned that you need a really solid claim for your essay to sound put together. Also you need to develop an intriguing discussion with strong analysis, which was one of my weaknesses. This essay showed me that I need to work on relating my analysis back to my quotes and claim. A few of the statements I made were not clear enough which reminded me how important details are to developing a well written essay. Also don't forget to underline the title of your book!
Kristin Holcomb
Period 1
When writing my research paper, I didn't know exactly where to start, so I just wrote down all my thoughts on the novel and the critics. When I reread my thoughts, I was surprised to find how much of it actually worked in my paper.
One of my weaknesses is that I relied too much on my critic's thoughts. In next semester's research paper, I will form my own opinions on the novel and find critics to support my own claim.
Angie Betancourt
Period 1
After writing the research paper on The Turn of the Screw, I realized how important personal in-depth analysis was to a successful research paper. The paper should not be centered around critics' ideas and thoughts but focused on your own thoughts about the novel. Your own ideas should be supported by the critics' ideas. In my paper, I combined my thoughts and the critics' thoughts throughout my paper. In the end, I realized I should have focused more on my analysis of the novel. I enjoyed working on the research paper this fall, and hopefully in the spring, I put what I learned into action.
William Pipkin Period 1
In writing my Fall research paper I discovered that my weaknesses are vocabulary but that I am improving at sentence structure. I also need to work on my reading analysis.
Johnny Schwarz
Period 1
After getting my research paper back, I think that my intro could have been sharper, and I should have specified which themes I was going to discuss. I focused on polarities throughout my paper, and I should have developed that idea more in my introduction. In the next research paper, I will be sure to eliminate vague words, such as “symbolism”, and replace them with precise terminology to convey exactly what I am trying to say.
I think that one of the strengths of my paper was that I didn’t rely on the critics opinions too much, and I thoroughly developed my own ideas. My analysis was thorough, but if I can focus on trying to express my ideas in a sharper way I think that it will definitely bring my writing up a level.
I feel that I made a few mistakes with my research paper. One mistake was that i rested on my critics views rather than my own. For the next research paper I will form my own opinions before reading critics responses. Also as I look back, I made many mistakes in my typing. Next time I will make sure to check and recheck those types of things.
Lexie Brown period 3
I enjoyed the process of writing my research paper on My Antonia because it gave me much more insight on the novel. After a close analysis, it became clear to me that Jim was an unreliable narrator because of his emotional entanglement with Antonia. I feel my biggest weakness is being too wordy. I could have easily cut out parts of the essay without losing significant information; however, overall I feel that I thoroughly developed the significance of Jim. In future research papers, I hope to omit needless information.
Kylee Piatczyc
Period 3
Personally I was not satisfied with my research paper. I focused more on "to be" verbs and minor errors instead of focusing on content. Next time when I write my draft I will focus on getting strong ideas on paper because minor errors can be dealt with later. I also did not pay enough attention to my claim. My claim was not strong enough, so I didn't have enough to say about it. Towards the end of my paper I had to force out paragraphs and make way too many stretches. Next time I will definitely make a thorough plan instead of just writing my thesis. I found myself making up my main points as I went instead of knowing what they were before hand. Overall the whole process of writing the paper was enjoyable. I had fun reading other critics ideas on The Turn of the Screw, even though the were all basically about ambiguity. On the whole, I will definitely work harder and create a more thorough plan.
Robbie Perry Period 1
Some of the weaknesses that I had for writing the essay was that I was too repetitive with some terms. I used "prove" and "reading" more often than I should have. Also, I probably could have added more of an emotional factor into my writing. But, that plays into my logical/mathematical intelligence style which I believe was a strength in writing my essay. I was able to use logic to help support my claim.
Michael C.
Period 3
The research paper was challenging, but I am glad we have another research paper next semester so that I can improve. My weakness was that I didn't express what The Awakening meant to me. I focused too much on what the critics had to say and not enough on how their ideas influenced my reading. Another thing I need to work on is defining what I am talking about so that it doesn't come off as too broad. The only error I had with my citation was that I didn't cite a source that was in one of my other critic’s essays. Because my critic cited the other critic, I was supposed to somehow explain that in the parenthetical. I didn't know that because nothing like that has ever happened to me, but now I know. I hope that I use what I have learned from this paper to make my next paper better!
Your class has been somewhat a challenge for me, only evoking my full potential as a writer. But with this said after the return of my research paper, I analyzed your commentary indepthly, seeking improvements. It has been made clear that I might want to expand more on my own personal opionions, instead of the critics. Which should be obvious, considering the critics have already made their claims. The commentary in which I stated was insightful, yet could of been expanded further. Now I know what I should improve on for the future!
Merritt Shivitz
Period 1
This paper was really helpful in gaining a new perspective of the text. It allowed me to really disect and analyze the novel and its authors motives. I feel that my main weakness in the paper was reiterating the same points in different ways and drifting off topic from my original claim. With so many things to write about and the length of the paper, I struugled to stay on topic and support my claim without introducing to many new ideas. This was due, in part, to not forming my claim with enough thought and preparation. Having a claim that dealt with the complete influences of multiple characters was hindering my ability to delve really deep into one certain aspect of the novel. Overall, I feel like i have realized my mistakes and look forward to the next paper in the semester to come.
n my research paper i needed to focus more on my thoughts of my claim and less on the critics. I had strong examples to support my claim but i didn't always back them up and show why they were important to my essay.The only problems i had with my works cited was that it was not in alphabetical order. Overall i thought i did a much better job on this essay then previous ones and enjoyed writing it. The research paper helped me explore different aspects of my book, Sense and Sensibility, that i had not discovered when reading the novel.
Katie Russell, period. 6
Looking back on the paper, I definately focused more on my author's views of my book, The House of the Seven Gables, instead of my own views. I didn't provide my own insight, and therefore my paper was a weaker one. Next time I write a research paper, I will use my own points to bolster it.
Ben Kirchhofer
Per. 6
I felt I had a pretty strong paper. I think I have a good voice and I tried to stay away from the mundane topics. I basically argued with my critics and that's what I think made my paper strong. What I should have done that I didn't do was bring in text from the actual book and put my citations in alphabetical order. I won't miss that again!
Ximena Kuri
Period 3
By writing my research paper, I learned that the key to a good paper is a strong claim with specific details and your own person opinion to back it up. My paper, on Hard Times by Charles Dickens, explored the way Dickens set up the novel as a factory. From this, I learned how to analyze other novels and dissect how they are structured. Next time, I need to add more of my own voice in the paper and not rely on the critics. On this paper I mainly used the critics as my details and I elaborated with my own voice. In the future, I will give my own insights and opinions the back up what I have to say with the critics. Overall, I learned I should develop my own ideas and use specific details that relate back to my original claim.
Camryn Pennington p. 5
After I received my research paper,I was a little discouraged by all of the comments about the weak writing. I now understand why my paper was not writen to its fullest potential. Instead of forming my own ideas with the help of critics, I simply expanded on what the critics had to say. In order to build a strong paper, I will need to infuse it with my own thoughts, specific details, and a bold claim. I am absorbing every bit of advice that I can so that I will be able to grow as a mature and sophisticated writer.
Taylor Goodwine
period 1
I had many errors in my essay such as spelling and syntax, but the most grievous of the mistakes is the fact that that the essay needs more evidence to back up its arguments. For example I should have explained how the governess was turning the screws on the children, in other words questioning them. I also should have explained how the events at Bly could be viewed as simply a delusion of the Governess. In the future I shall provide evidence for every single argument I present in my essay.
I read and researched Northanger Abbey. I felt that Austen's paradies of Gothic novels were a bit overdone at times, but this subject was the main focus of most of the critics that I researched. I struggled to start my paper until I found a claim with which I could truly identify, one that incorporated both my logical-mathematical and interpersonal intelligence styles. I enjoyed drawing parallels between eighteenth century English society and our own by examining friendship in the novel. Isabella Thorpe manipulates Catherine Morland,while Henry Tilney provides a good influence.
Amy R. pd. 3
My biggest problem was my introduction. I thought I was creating an interesting beginning to my research paper, but I now realize that I was too vague and unclear in my claim. I needed to directly state that the governess' visions of the ghosts were not real and then go into explaining why her subconscious mind created them, instead of just assuming that the reader knew they weren't real and jumping into it.
I also made the mistake of stating that people who suffer from insomnia are insane. I did not mean it in the sense that everyone who can't sleep is mentally ill, but the way I put it mistakenly suggested that.
I definitely need to include quotes from the text itself! I only used quotes from the critics and that was a big mistake on my part. I thought I was injecting enough of my own voice into the paper, but I guess not. I needed to include quotes from the book itself to make a good argument instead of just using quotes from my critics which the reader does not have to believe or take seriously.
I hope to do much better on my next paper.
Michelle Wainwright
Period 1
I believe that I had a good idea behind my research paper. However, I didn't execute that idea well or well enough for the A grade that I wanted. Instead of focusing so much on the obvious elements of the book, I should have gone deeper and more thoroughly analyze the two different societies (Austen's and ours) and Marianne's and Eleanor's roles within them. In addition, I tried to cover too many elements of the book within my research paper. My main weakness was the fact that I relied on my critics more than I relied on my own opinion. On my next paper, I will extensively examine only one or two aspects of the novel, describing and analyzing them in great detail, and rely on my own opinion throughout. I greatly enjoyed the research paper because it opened my eyes to so many more aspects of the book and of society.
Ellie Houser
Period 1
In my reearch paper, I did a good job of supporting my own claim with help from the critics, instead of just taking a critic's claim. I also did a great job on my citations. I felt that I could have added to my support of the claim by talking about the phschological effect of the events on humans in general. This would have given my paper some more punch to it. Writing this paper on The Turn of the Screw was very interesting because the novel has so much ambiguity to it. I am looking forward to the next research paper in the spring because I feel that I will be able to create an original claim that brings fresh insight to the novel. In order to make it better I am going to work harder on narrowing my cliam to be more specific.
Preston Burkett
Period 1
My major weakness in my research paper was the citation errors due to spacing in between each critic. However, I also relied too much on my critics instead of having the confidence to use my own analysis of the novel. My strengths, on the other hand, included some good analysis and my claim which i had tons of evidence to support it with just not as much insight from myself. For the next research paper, my focus will be to have confidence in my own analysis of the novel and to lighten up my writing as well.
Morgan Zabel
period 6
In the research paper I focused on the elements that Chopin used to clearly illuminate Edna's awakening. I did a close analysis of two separate scenes from the novel. I believe that on my first scene I was very detailed and knew exactly what I was trying to say. Maybe I should have chosen a different second scene that I could have more clearly expressed my ideas on. For the most part I thought that I used sophisticated sentence structure and a wide range of vocabulary but I know that I received the grade that I got because I did not dive as deep into my ideas as I should have. I probably should have written on a different topic that would have allowed me to be more concise and direct.
Until I received my research paper grade, I was quite nervous because I felt I took somewhat of a stretch on some ideas. Thankfully, these ideas paid off. At first, I did not think Turn of the Screw would be a novel worth writing about, but after reading many critical essays about it, I learned of its complexity. For some reason, I find joy writing about ambiguity in novels and this was perfect for me. After reading through your comments, I now need to work on cleaning up my style errors to take my essay to the next level. I first saw this paper as a huge linement that I would never be able to move, but now I can say that I successfully moved that mammoth creature and made the tackle (kind of weak metaphor, but I hope you get my point). The biggest factor in my success was probably the three days we spent in the computer lab peer editing. With your help and my classmates, I made significant changes in my paper. About 4 months ago I would have never said this, but...I am actually excited for the next research paper. Happy Holidays! (and sorry this is a little late)
When I first learned that we had to write a research paper, I dreaded it. With my experience, research papers have been dry and mechanical with little room for embellishment or original thought, but now I know otherwise. Unfortunately, I did not discover this until after my research paper was graded. One aspect I need to improve on is developing a fresh and original perspective on my novel. I grazed the surface with my research paper, but I failed to give it the definition and vigor of an A paper. Next time, I am going to focus on developing my stance more thoroughly and using quotes from the novel itself. Also, after losing several points on my works cited page, I am going to make sure it is flawless.
Research papers have never been assignments that I look forward to. However, I have come to learn that in order to enjoy writing one, you must find a claim that is interesting and fun to examine. I made a big mistake by not using my book as a reference more than I did. It was hard for me to do that because the critical essays related so directly to my topic, that it was very easy to use them. Research papers are also not the assignment to pick a simple approach to. Your claim needs to be filled with substance and involve insightful evidence to back it up. Reading Turn of the Screw also presented problems because it is hard to find a claim that avoids the typical "ambiguity" and "ghost theory" in it. All in all, I found the research paper very intriguing to write but feel as if I could write a much better one now.
Matt Hortenstine
Period 6
The problem that I had with my paper is that my ideas and the way I wrote the overall paper was too general and vague. My claim wasn't very strong at the beginning but near the end I was able to refine it a little. I also didn't format quotes the correct way and had trouble tying all my ideas to one another. Next semester I will strive to start with a strong, definite claim and include more specific details in my writing.
Jimmy Britven
P.5
While I felt that I had a really strong claim, it seemed that towards the end of my paper I focused more on proving my claim than on providing analysis or a general commentary. I effectively used the first person, yet in doing so I almost drifted too much into personal experience, and had to struggle to not get off topic, or discuss other intriguing aspects of the novel. Once I presented all of my information and arguments, I wrapped up my paper rather quickly, and never gave that finished feeling. I also had some typoes in my works cited, which is a stupid way to lose points. Overall, I learned that it is ok to write in the first person in a formal paper, and that I need to spend as much time conlcuding my thoughts as I do introducing and presenting them.
... Ryan Charnov Period 1
I need to work on starting with more detailed claims. I need to stop using words that are vague and non-descriptive. I developed my own thoughts about the book and critical essays, along with putting in a lot of text evidence. I still need to work on adding more commentary and supporting the text more. next time I am going to state a stronger claim and support it. I will also do my citations correctly in alphabetical order and correctly spaced.
i felt that throughout my research paper, my downfall was that i relied too heavily on my critics. I needed to asert my opinions and then back those up with those of my critics. But instead, I fell into a trap, and my papers coherency suffered because of it. next time i will focus more readily on my claim, and not allow my thoughts to take a backseat to those of my critic. (my lesson: CLAIM!!!)
Since my claim focused on various critics' reactions to The Awakening, my research paper strayed away from the text and depending on the texts from critical essays. I should have included specific details from the book throughout my paper. I also need to become a citation maven.
I learned that when you transfer documents from your email to microsoft word, somehow in the process of the email transaction spaces are placed in the middle of words. The spaces are hard to catch and points are deducted. I should have gotten someone to reread it because my eyes skipped over these mistakes.
LINNIE ROY period 5
Only after getting my paper back did I realize that my thesis was not clear enough. This created a problem from the begining because it is hard to understand a paper if you are not clear on what it is trying to project. In my next paper I will most likely work heavily on creating a clearer topic/thesis and check throughout the paper that I am still on track. I think that an outline will help me with structuring my next paper to make it clearer and easyer to follow
I think I learned how to better state your claim and then go from there to write the paper. I could have gone deeper into how Jane Austen actually uses the misunderstandings in Emma to contrast real situations in society. It was great that we did this research paper because I learned so much and I think I'm a better writer because of it. The paper really helped me with my writing and I now know that if you can't think of anything to say just start writing.
My research paper was not all that it could have been. I focused more on my critic's beliefs rather than citing more text from the novel, and forming my own opinions. My sentences also need to be tightened up as my style of writing was very choppy at times in this paper. On next semesters research paper I will focus more on my own opinions and using textual support from the actual novel. The most important thing I learned from this assignment was that while some quotes from the critics are nice, the most important support comes from the novel itself.
Brandon Chandler Period 1
In writing my fall research paper I really enjoyed my book but in hindsight realize it was not an appropriate book for a well developed research paper. The Turn of The Screw is an interesting and entertaining ghost story but is greatly taken away from by the endless analysis of ambiguity. After seeing ever angle from which my book was interpreted, it was difficult to develop a claim outside of this ambiguity, I realize that I did not develop my claim far enough and instead failed to meet the directions. By using the critics as my basis instead of my book, I offered little of my own analysis and understand why this resulted in a low grade. For the future and spring research paper I will pick a book that I enjoy the style of and have the ability to create a well written paper about.
On my research paper, I believe that the bulk of my points lost came from citation errors and silly mistakes. Next time I will make sure to double and triple check my paper, just to be safe. Also, I found that many times in my paper I quoted my critic rather than my book. In the future I will try to avoid that by taking better notes in my book while I read. Before this year, I never really understood the importance of annotating the books I was reading, but I have found that it can help a great deal when you need to find that quote that is just right for your paper. Although writing this paper was hard work, I really appreciate it because I think this process has taught me a lot about how to efficiently and correctly write a research paper.
Rachel Weir Pd. 5
I thought that the research paper was a great opportunity to explore an aspect of our novels that we were passionate about. My novel was The Awakening, by Kate Chopin, and I wrote about how Edna Pontellier's awakening wasn't sudden nor momentous, but rather manifested over time due to many reasons. I was strong developing that claim, however, I mentioned another sidebar claim about the music that was played by Mademoiselle Reisz and I was unable to fully support it.
Looking back on this research paper, my main weakness was trying to squeeze too much into one paper, and incorporating the music claim which I could have thrown out. My other weakness was my citations. I actually did mine correctly, but unfortunately, I did not place them in alphabetical order, and it cost me three points!!! As Liz Lemon would say, "blergg."
Even though I let this happen to me, I am proud of myself for making sure to check the grading rubric and reading the note that the bulk of the paper should be our own analysis, and only occasionally using our critic's quotes. Because of this, my paper turned out pretty well. It took a while, but the knowledge from it will surely help in the future.
I was pretty suprised at the grade circled on my research paper when you passed them back out last week. I read over my paper and the criteria sheet and I feel that I didnt neccesarily fail on the criteria, I just fluttered between two different claims through out the paper. I did pose two different claims, which was not my intention but just the result of trying to balance the idea that the book was written as propoganda and Tom's religous based conflicts. I did try to summarize the entire conflict instead of just exploiting specific examples which i admit, did make the paper confusing and "jumpy" but not lacking criteria. I learned that i need to focus on specific examples from text and to not shift between two different ideas so often.
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